What I had wanted for so long was a way to connect with people. I was extremely shy and insecure and thought people would only like me if I had money and was successful.
When my financial situation went negative it shook me at my core. Financial security had become my identity. Without it I wasn’t sure who I was. When I lost all of my money everything I thought about myself was in question. I was afraid to tell friends I had money problems. I didn’t want to be seen that way.
However, something interesting happened. With the money gone, it felt like my armor had been torn away. I was now vulnerable, but I was also free. My worst fear had been realized but I didn’t have to hide anymore. What I had tried so desperately to preserve and protect all of these years was the same thing that kept me imprisoned and isolated. It was a feeling I had not experienced before: The total acceptance of who I was.
No one else seemed to notice or even care that I had lost my money. That’s the funny thing about self-esteem. It’s not about how others see us, it about how we feel on the inside. If we are feeling less than, any praise and validation we receive falls on deaf ears. We dismiss any positive feedback as coincidence or worse, it’s met with suspicion or seen as manipulation. Low self esteem is more powerful than we care to admit.
On the other hand when we are in a strong self state, setbacks and negative comments are now seen in a whole new light. Setbacks are indications that maybe we need to reevaluate or course-correct. Negative comments are only a reflection of the source from whence they came. When our internal world shifts, our external world changes instantly.
By the way, I have a like-new 2007 750IL BMW with low miles that would make a perfect gift for you or someone you love!
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